I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
there is glitter all over my balls
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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