I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
