Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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