Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Randomize
