I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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