windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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