you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
We need to get me chipped asap
Randomize
