1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize