Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
