i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
