actually, I'm a sock model
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
