So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
someone owes me an orgasm
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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