She said her name was "party"
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
