remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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