need another drink. this is the easiest way
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
