I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize