youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Randomize
