The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
