I puked a lego.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Can you bring me the toilet please
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
How does one acquire holy water?
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
