if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Randomize