actually, I'm a sock model
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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