Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
