dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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