Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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