I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
