wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
