carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
It's shark week go big or go home
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize
