i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
