There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
