Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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