Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
