I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
