I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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