She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Randomize