I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
