I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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