I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Randomize
