So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Randomize