My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I think my vagina is haunted
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
He uses pillows to masturbate.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
