omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Your penis caused this!
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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