We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
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