My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
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