Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
