Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(925): View more from California

Wait, how do girls masturbate?

(1-925): View more from California

I dunno we use shower heads I guess.

(925): View more from California

..how does it fit?

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.

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(256): View more from Alabama

All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse

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(910): View more from North Carolina

I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks

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(201): View more from New Jersey

Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.

(610): View more from Pennsylvania

what? who is this?

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(701): View more from North Dakota

I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.

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(716): View more from New York

Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF

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