Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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