I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Randomize
