Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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