Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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