honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I'm way too hungover for life right now
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
