are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Randomize
