well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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