You're my little dorito
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
