so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
