Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
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