Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Randomize
