don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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