Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
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