Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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