playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
