I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
