Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
